Running, Running, Running
“And running, running. Whoa!! Let’s it it started, let’s get it started in here.” No, just me?! My mind automatically went to Black Eyed Pea and I heard Will.i.Am’s voice in my head when I started thinking of this one. But it feels appropriate so dance with me (** insert 112 and the Diddy shake**).
Last week my family and I celebrated my daughter’s 9th birthday. AS I was preparing and getting things lined up and details worked out for location and gifts and what family could or could not make it, I realized that moment felt very similar to the last 9 years of her life. Me, running and attempting to do all of the things and then next thing I know, here we are. I have always lived very intentionally (it’s my nature) but when I was pregnant with her I did not know how much my world would shift based on the little body I was growing inside of mine. My need and desire to constantly go and do under the premise of freedom and independence ceased the minute my doctor confirmed my pregnant results.
Initially she wanted to go ice skating but then with the busyness of the season, the rink and uh some of the older bodies, there was no way we were going to make it on ice. Then the Rainforest Cafe was not receiving reservations for the rest of the evening or walk-ins once we arrived in person. So we pivoted to Dave and Busters. Okay, to know my daughter is to love her. She is very much a fire sign, full of love and laughter, joy and always down for a good party and dancing (very opposite of me). So it was not surprising she would want to be out with a lot of people and man were there a lot of people out.
All of the games were going off, dinging noises and there were adults and kids everywhere playing games and eating food. Some were cheering for the UFC fight and others the Golden State Warriors. For me, it was all so overstimulating BUT I mentally prepared myself because I wanted to celebrate her and with her in the way she enjoys and flourishes. I opted to not sit at our table and watch purses or gift bags and didn’t really engage in the games or people outside of our immediate family. Instead I opted for the camera person, catching all the candid moments and memories on film. #Momwin
As the little people (my kids) were playing and Dad, Aunt and Dinosaur (Granddad) were playing and engaging I looked around at how fast and loud things were moving around. How we are still. in. a. pandemic. The Omnicron variant has been exposed for about 2 weeks at this point, Delta is is back to being an airline and well, the BBB (Build Back Better) Plan hasn’t passed yet. This moment became the perfect reminder that the world will keep going and drag us along with it, if we do not choose to be intentional and slow down.
“The world will keep going and drag us along with it, if we do not choose to be intentional and slow down.”
From herbal school where we learn to support our nervous system with adaptogenic plant medicine. In yogic philosophy, we learn how the science behind yoga invites us to consciously and intentionally regulate our nervous system through the practice of pranayama (breath work), samadhi (meditation) and sometimes asana (postures). But what is the purpose of these practices year after year if we allow our systems to be disrupted over and over by algorithms, ads, capitalistic consumerism and media outlets (yup, including social media)?
Ya’ll, I really thought it was just me trying to figure out how tf other people are functioning right now? How are people going back to a ‘normal’ that was not working for the human collective, social media grids void of actual authenticity and individual thought? I felt guilty. Guilty for not going as hard as I could. Guilty for needing to show up for myself and my family more than I had the capacity to show up for community. I cannot do it. In fact, I refuse to do it. I will not undo all of the healing work I have been doing on my spirit and embodiment in exchange for meaningless forced interactions and holiday celebrations. SO I am resting. And not resting to rush to get up and do for someone, or force holidays to happen. But rest because my soul deserves to be well rested so I can clearly show up intentionally about the way I want to show up in the world. Just because the world around me chooses to spin, doesn’t mean I can not choose to slow down.