Phases of a yogic life: Building a life of balance and purpose

Estimated Reading Time 10 minutes | Song: Everyday People by Sly and The Family Stone

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As I write this, there is a disaster occurring across the U.S. Los Angeles is on fire as recent rain threatens mudslides, with people losing their homes and everything they have ever had as a worldly and even sentimental possession. Parts of Virginia does not have water and Western North Carolina is still attempting to rebuild and recover from Hurricane Helene’s damage that flooded the mountains and wiped entire communities out of existence. Flint, MI still does not have clean water. Those the fastest to respond and begin caring for the people, of course being We The People. 

Across social media there are campaigns and fundraisers for families to receive any type of care, food, blankets, shelter, water and whatever else can potentially be purchased to demonstrate aid. I will always believe in the power of the people and that we have everything we need AND if I am being truthful, this is NOT sustainable. We know those of us that have the least have the tendency to give the most and if everyday is a new crisis asking for our attention and funding, at some point we are not able to make enough to fix and solve what we hired our government to do. 

And still, many of us take action because it is what we would want someone to do for us, some do it to show they are capable of helping others and potentially season in some saviorism and then another portion of us participate because we have been there in some way before and we know the power of community. So what the hell, does yoga have anything to do with any of this? I’m glad you asked because you KNOW, I’m going to share. As a Black yoga instructor, I find myself extremely frustrated that we are experiencing almost what feels like a second or even third wave of Black yoga teachers that just arrived on scene for whatever reason and are now shouting from the rooftops how much we need more Black teachers in more studios and spaces. This usually NEVER reflects that we need more students of the practice of yoga BEYOND the physical asana of our mat. And it is frustrating because it becomes virtue signaling, performative and like Blackness itself is a commodity to sell for class marketing and participation. 

There are many paths within yoga that the Vedic texts:  (if we ever read them, surprise surprise, many don’t) The Four Vedas, The Brahmanas, The Aranyakas, The Upanishads and then of course there is some additional Vedic literature, like the Bhagavad Gita. In both the Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gita, the concept of ashrama vyavastha (loosely translated to effort system). According to my teacher, Prasad Rangnekar this means it is a system that demonstrates to us where and how much effort to put in. Now a personal pet peeve of mine regarding modern yoga is so many have worked hard for representation in yoga and wellness spaces, but is it enough? Is representation enough when it is done with a Black or brown face and still never dives beyond the surface level of what this practice and lifestyle have to offer? Can yoga be explored and shared in its entirety by people (like me) that have more to offer the practice besides representation in Blackness and asana in movement? Many of these questions remain unanswered by some and require us to look deeper and utilize discernment for who we are following or calling a teacher, merely because they happen to have a Black American experience. Yoga does not require one to be vegan, vegetarian, alkaline, or fruitarian. Every yoga posture (when practicing asana or mudra) includes and engages the chakras, so there is no requirement to specifically take a chakra yoga class because they are already included, not sold separately. I wanted to pose this here because there has to be some acknowledgement that what many Black yogis have offered is simply a Black person doing or practicing yoga asana while completely ignoring the living and studying of yogic texts. This is what has led to many making up their own versions of what yoga is or is not while attempting to reinvent the wheel with other cultural practices to appear more Afro-centric in nature. 

If we are Black practitioners and teachers committed to the practice we will be committed to living the life of yoga although has multiple paths. None of which solely entail asana (postures) but include asana as one aspect of the practice. Sorry, I am not sorry when I say this is why some of your favorites cannot gain a following or demonstrate a practice of yoga beyond asana. Yoga in itself does not need to be made to be silly or reduced down to play time for it to be digestible for children to learn (I’m side eyeing kids yoga programs) and it includes more than asana for elders to access (reminding those only teaching asana or chair asana to elders). This is where a complete teaching or sharing of the ashrama vyanastha comes in. So what are the stages of a yogis life and where are we supposed to put our efforts in? 

Let me preface this by first sharing this is not an extensive list of what to do or what happens during this particular stage of life but merely an oversimplified and somewhat flattened version of each stage. If you’d like to learn more about it, stay tuned for my upcoming Life Stages in Yoga webinar in March. 

The Student or the Celibate (Brahmacharya) | birth to 25 | Gen Alpha - Gen Z

The student of yoga or the Bhrahmacharya stage of life for a yogi ranges from birth until around 25 years old. This is where the student of life is protected to some degree from extreme suffering because they are under the discipleship of their caregiver or parents. Meaning, they are open to learning via observation, oral tradition and storytelling. Brahmacharis are impressionable and are navigating how to find their focus on what their dharma (duty) in life is. 

I will share myself as an example here, I did not birth my first child until I was 25 years old, however I had already been married, moved to several different states as an adult, experienced being a medical technician, Police Officer, military service members, medical assistant, small business owner, direct sales representative and student attending college. Whew, yes I was learning quite a bit about myself and the life I wanted or desired to live. I also was young enough to be fearless in my pursuits towards my dreams. These pursuits or desires do not simply end because I turned 25, but merely shifted because my responsibilities also shifted as I had a household to manage, a husband to support and a child to raise and guide. 

It was at this stage of life, I had to get serious about decolonizing my life and beliefs and what it was I wanted to pass along to my children. It did not take me making funny faces or creating a new yoga program to teach my children, it required me to embody and live what I practice. It took me realizing all of the intricate ways that I have been conditioned in society to uphold systems of harm via religion, sexuality, gender roles, Blackness and classism. It was also helpful, I happened to be living in a place (Hawai’i) that challenged the very thoughts of American exceptionalism and expansion and attended college courses requiring me to recognize my moral compass outside of what I was raised to believe and what I was told by religion. 

The Householder (Grihastha) | 26-50 years old | Gen Y or Millennials

It is no secret (at least in the U.S.) that the majority of household purchases are decided or determined by women. In fact, Forbes mentions statistically speaking women make up for 85% of household purchases. I am sure there are various reasons for this or contributing factors even though we are in a modern age where more men agree with and take on varying roles not typically traditional of the men before them. With women being the primary or lead on household purchases I would venture to say this is because we spend a large portion or majority of our time child rearing and managing and maintaining the home front. Not only are we navigating new ways and roles of caring for ourselves, but also caregiving those younger than us and often, those older than us too. 

The Grihastha is the most significant role in the stages of yogic life because of this and its age ranges usually are from 25 to 50 years old. In this stage this is where the focus is on raising children, generating wealth for the family, contributing to society and creating and guiding the family dharma in social ways. I often find myself being the one in my family scheduling doctors appointments, switching over to non-toxic products or gluten free to reduce the inflammation of family members, remembering to grab some tums for late night indigestion. But I am also responsible for making sure the budget is right so each child gets to their activities and it gets paid for, the gifts for birthday parties are purchased and schedules don’t overwhelm us as a family. I also schedule the family vacations and stay present to when there has been too much going on for our family where we need to opt out and have a mental health day break or six. Then there is the maintaining of family histories when someone is newly diagnosed with high blood pressure or receiving some treatment I may need to make our family or schedules to accommodate. THIS is ALOT, even if it is a life I have chosen for myself. 

Ya’ll, THIS is where many of us are and why yogic philosophy demands for us to be engaged and active in justice movements. Unfortunately, this has made much of the masses of yoga feel as if they are more enlightened or further along in their stage of life as a yogi, than speaking truth to power against suffering and injustices. Is this practice only for when it feels good and of course the answer was no. The long lineage of this yoga philosophy is and has always spoken to the suffering of humanity. This is what not only makes me feel seen in this practice but also why I am love the Bhagavad Gita.

The Forest Dweller (Vanaprastha) | 51-75 years old | Gen X - Baby Boomers

I am not going to lie a single bit, with the way society as a whole is heading (and yes, I know I too am a part of society) this is the place I’d rather be. Put me on the land, with the forest and the animals. I am ready to observe more of nature and stillness while being retired. In the Vanaprastha stage, this is where I will get to lean more into not what I can do for others but the wisdom I have garnered over life and share it when necessary. Listen, when I get to this stage I am not trying to be in the the club or doing the things that my children would be doing. The Vanaprastha age range is typically 50-75 and is focused on moksha (liberation). That is it and that is all. What is it that is or will be and feel liberated?

I daydream about this stage because I have not been there yet, but I have witnessed some wild women in my life settle into this stage and their roles as matriarchs of their families. I have also seen the ones not ready for this role and seemingly holding onto the stages of their past. I am not saying here there won’t be a second wind of life, a revamping or shifting and settling into who someone is as I have seen that too but it won’t be the same as the 20 year old trying to figure out who they are. Which leads to the last stage, the recluse (rubs hands like Birdman).

The Recluse (Sannyasa) | 76+ years old | Silent Generation and prior

Maybe I  am joking or maybe I am not, as someone who has been a caregiver their entire life even as a Brahmachari, I am looking forward to the recluse stage when that time comes. The Sannyasa stage is typically aged 75+ because they are not only keeping much to themselves and finding stillness and solitude, they are also preparing to transition from this form to the next. Many times before or while getting into this stage we will witness elders giving away their wisdom, old archives and pictures, worldly possessions, memories and recipes so the future generations can continue the legacy for the future. At this stage of life, they are renouncing everything fully committed to moksha (liberation) and no longer attached to personal pursuits, desires or material possessions. 

I will be diving deeper throughout this year and sharing on the various life stages of yoga as well as other details within the practice of yoga that are often overlooked and maybe attempting to dispel some of the myths and false ideas that have been created or connected to the practice of yoga. With that said, make sure you sign up for my very first webinar in March about the stages of life of a yogi before the course drops on the International Day of Yoga.

Need your yoga asana fix now? That’s cool too, I am sharing the asana practice of yoga on February 2nd at the Ancestral Grounds at 11am and you should be there. This is the first in-person class of the year and first session of my Yoga for Liberation programing. After class we will build a communal altar, so bring flowers, herbs, plants or fruit to leave at the space. Make sure to register now.